That was the first time I had a direct contact with a child that had been defiled. She was four. Let’s call her Ivy. Her grandmother and the Clinical Psychologist had brought her to our facility to run some lab tests on her. When I held her hand, she froze. Ivy started whimpering. Now this was not the first time I had taken blood sample from a child. Some of them do worse when they see the syringe. There are lots of instances where I call on another colleague to come and help me tame them before I have any success with them at all. Well, this particular one was different. The fear that shown in her eyes was not just of the syringe. The sight of me alone crippled her. Ivy didn’t want to even look at me. So her grandma touched her and said

“He won’t harm you. He is a good person. He just wants to help us know what has happened to you, okay? I’m here with you. Don’t be afraid”.

Image Credit: Google Images. A little girl protects herself with her palm

I don’t know if Ivy understood. After running the tests, I met with the clinical psychologist. She told me about the alleged suspect. He was 16 and was being raised in an orphanage home. Ivy’s grandmother is one of the caretakers there. Ivy was brought there to spend the weekend with granny and the unfortunate happened. Granny was devastated and didn’t know what to do. What was she going to tell Ivy’s mother?

Now Ivy couldn’t sleep the night of the incidence because she couldn’t lie down. Apparently, the young suspect penetrated both her vagina and anus. No, I’m not being vulgar. I’m just stating facts. The pain was so intense that she couldn’t lie face down or with her back to the mattress.

Now you remember Ivy is 4. She was not in miniskirt when it happened. She doesn’t keep braids or a permed hair and wears no wig. Now who said those things mattered at all? Ivy, I’ll keep repeating that she is four, still cannot bath herself properly and probably struggles not to wet her bed. Yet someone molested her like her body was his and created a scar on her body and in her mind. There are endless vital directions where this discussion can be veered. However, I want us to talk about the young man who has not been taught that the body is a sanctuary. A man’s body is, and a woman’s body is too. -And no one owns anyone’s body, save God. That no one’s body is like a pizza order that you pick up at your favorite restaurant anytime the edge climbs up to your throat. May be we should start asking our young men what they do anytime they have sexual urges. What thought crosses their mind? How do they manage them. Let’s ask the girls too. Let’s consciously get to know what they are dealing with and take the right steps to addressing them as early as possible.

Yes, we want to create for our children, a society where they can live freely and not be afraid that someone wants to harm them.

-But as long as there are still familiar strangers, neighbor’s children that we don’t know what they have been exposed to, uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends and complete strangers, let’s teach them to be careful. And let us also be better adults. As hard as it is to say, Ivy might not be the last, but let her story inspire you to be on the move to do better. When you pray, tell God about people like her. That He will bring healing to their minds and bodies and change their perception of love. That he will take bitterness from their hearts and cause them to open up to genuine love in their future relationships. This scar is deep, but God’s love runs deeper!